Who Does the April Fool's Thing, Anyway?

He got me. I was gotten. I fell hook, line, and sinker.

My bachelor brother, the one who has never gotten married, never wanted kids, swears he's done nothing in a past life that merits committing to a "death do us part" arrangement, called me today.

"What do you know?" he asked.

"Uhh, virtually nothing as usual," I confessed. "Oh, wait. I could potentially go blind one day due to my mutant optic nerves and severe myopia. That's something new. Woohoo."

He asked me to explain, and he was quite patient. Usually he's rushing me to get to the freakin' point cause I'm known to tell a life story to get to my eventual point. I call it stream-of-consciousness. He calls it "get to the damn point because you're boring me endlessly here."

"Wow, must be a bad day for bad news," he said. After I hit rewind in my brain, I should have noted he said it with a hint of pleasure in his voice. That should have tipped me off.

"Why? What's wrong? What's up?" I inquired like a good big sister should do.

"Well, I knocked up some chick," he said.

"You what?" I didn't let him finish.

"How the hell did that happen? How old is she? How did that happen? How after 35 years and being told after that accident you couldn't have kids did that happen? Oh, shit. I'm going to be an aunt? Holy shit. This is not good."

"She's 20something. I messed up. They said I probably wouldn't be able to have kids," he said.

"Oh, man. That's so not good. What are you going to..." I was getting a bit agitated.

"Umm, do you know what day it is?"

"What do you mean what day it is?"

"Uhh, April Fool's day, dumbass," he said.

Yeah, that's some funny, funny stuff.