The Best Laid Plans Should Never Be Laid

See my nervous tic? I'll tell ya why I have it. It's because every time I try to make plans, keyword being try, I end up sounding like Snidely Whiplash from the "Bullwinkle" cartoons.

Oh curses, foiled again!

I had to get up at the crack of dawn this morning. Well, technically it wasn't even the crack of dawn quite yet. Though speaking of crack, either I might before the day is over...or I could most definitely use some.

I laid in bed a few minutes, and gave some consideration to how the day might play out. I'd get the child to the school by 6:45. I'd come home, get the other kid off to school at 7:30, and then since I was up already, I'd workout. If I worked out for at least 30 minutes, and providing I could stand my stench, I could sit down and do some writing for another half hour. Then I'd hit the shower, do the dishes, start some laundry, make myself presentable, and go run some errands. So long as I didn't get sucked into squandering my time on the 'net, I could probably manage several hours of writing, housework, and sneak in some outside work time.

There was a method to my madness.

I've needed to work out for some time now. This damn fabled middle-aged spread isn't so much a fable as it's non-fiction. How I got old enough to have back fat is beyond me, but there it is. When last year's loose shorts fit fine this season, I figured it was time to get active.

Last night, when I couldn't sleep for whatever unknown reason, I did some writing in my head for the Brady blog. Usually, I retain what was in my head until the next morning. I know I should get up and write stuff down, or even scribble key notes in the dark. But putting a notebook by my bed would be planning ahead, and shit like that just doesn't work or me. I figured I would remember what I'd thought about last night, and I could get it written in record time since I did the ole rough draft in my brain.

The past two weeks have been peppered with gorgeous days. Who would like to guess what the weekends have been like, though? They have sucked with the exact opposite of gorgeous weather. This annoys me as well because you know who is going to get to do all the cleaning up and yard work. Yeah, me. Because the weather is only nice when I'm the only one home. Arghh.

The reason for me getting up before any person should ever have to leave the comfort of their bed was because the youngest son was due to start driver's training, the book part, this morning.

Why mothers drink reason #126 - two teenagers behind the wheel.

But that's another rant. Anyway, I got up at 6. My husband sent me a text advising that I might want to leave a few minutes early to take the child to the school because it was foggy as hell. So foggy, in fact, that they issued a two hour delay a few minutes after I got up.

The youngest was freakin' out. "What about driver's training? Did they have it anyway? Will it be at 8:45 instead of 6:45? If you didn't take me and I needed to be there, I'm going to be screwed. You can't miss one day of it. It will be all your fault."

As if I haven't heard that a gazillion times or more. It's always my fault.

His mini-meltdown was while I was on the phone with the school and their new automated answering system. Ever have a 15 year old drama mama in one ear and a system asking you to press a series of more than one number? "If you'd like to reach the high school, please press 559743832980000." Pressing 1 as an option would be far too easy.

When I realized there was no one at the school to take my call, I hung up and made another phone call to someone who might be in the know. About this time, my husband is beeping with call waiting to tell me there's a two hour school delay. Between the beeping and my son's pacing around, to put it loosely, I was ready to beat someone to a bloody pulp.

The oldest was still in bed, and the youngest went out to roll in the mud before school. I finally got a live person at the school and found out there would be no driver's training today and one day would be added at the end of the course. That didn't matter, however, because they cancelled school due to the foggy conditions. It's not so unusual for that to happen. In fact, 9 times out of 10, it happens on a Monday.

I was left with two children and plans that weren't going to pan out. I know a healthy attitude is to expect adversity, but sometimes, it gets ridiculous.

To quote Styx, "Nothing ever goes as planned...it's a hell of a notion." I'm going back to flying by the seat of my pants. It's less stressing. I might even make the oldest take his brother to driver's training tomorrow. I'll stay in bed and not plan out my day.